This goes to all the divine feminines who are growing impatient for their counterpart to arrive. Already! I have come to this realization today.

I have last seen him in the flesh in September 2016, so as of writing, that is ten months of longing – for that intense feeling of just looking him in the eye and that overwhelming presence. I miss him. Nevertheless we are in communication via online and SMS, very sparsely. I know very well how he longs for me too. I feel it. He shows it in his most subtle, awkward ways.

If you’re a twin, you just know it! It is what it is.

You will know very well that it is not an obsession, though I have asked that to myself a thousand times in my journal writings pre-awakening. I actually blocked him from my social media accounts in the past just to stop thinking about him. I even prayed to God that if he is not meant to be in my life, let him just slip away. And this man would go and text me some few hours after I prayed. Aaaah!!!

He is good-looking I tell you. And when we’re close to each other, the sexual tension is to the roof! We were both awkward, he stuttered a lot, he’d give some nervous laugh, I’d give off some deep sighs because I couldn’t breathe normally. I long for that intensity. I guess it is true that twins are really designed to be physically attracted to each other no matter what shape and size.

I know in myself that I can never be obsessed with someone just because he is good looking, because I’ve met several good-looking men in my life and never felt the same. In retrospect, I was actually more drawn to the average looking guys, and by that I meant no judgment of any sort. It is his energy that I am so ever drawn to. Like a magnet.

But why is he taking so much time to make a move? Why can’t he just ask me out? Why does he seem to ignore me?

And so the waiting game goes on and on.

I believe this is a test for us divine feminines. This is a period of refining and learning more how to balance ourselves within ourselves. This is a period of triggering and purging. This is teaching us to fully embrace our divine femininity and just be a vessel – calm, receptive, warm. And also to really dig deeper on what our counterpart is trying to show us in the mirror – especially the parts of us that need to heal.

For me, I see that my twin is trying to teach me to embrace my flaws and my insecurities. I need to heal in the area of relying on other people or outside medium to give me assurance that I do matter. I need to learn to really see my worth and love myself more. I also need to stop comparing myself to other women because that is one my triggers. I realized that the women I compare myself to have the qualities that I have also but I was suppressing them. Also I need to improve more in my finances/ stability.

SO this made me realize that I was not really waiting for my counterpart to arrive. I WAS REALLY WAITING ON MYSELF TO COME INTO BALANCE WITHIN MYSELF.

And as a mirror, i know my counterpart is doing the same.

Union really happens from within first. And we must rest in the knowing that the Divine is providing us everything that we need in order to come to that place of wholeness. And here’s another good news: we, twin flames, reincarnated in this lifetime because we have a mission to fulfill. We will be the teachers of inter-dependency, not co-dependency. And thus, union with our counterpart is imminent. It will happen as Divinely planned.

Be patient with yourself and heal.



One thought on “I am not waiting for my Twin

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